🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?